is your mom at the bar?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize