My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
