can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
