i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
