absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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