I wish I could teleport
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
