My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
