so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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