i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
