I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
