If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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