If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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