I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize