he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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