Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
