You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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