i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
