A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
