I'm going to rape someone's good day.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Randomize