check it out our google latitudes are spooning
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
