i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
