I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
