But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
