North Korea, Best Korea!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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