thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize