Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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