I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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