Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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