Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
