what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
