I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
as a side note pls kill me
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
