No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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