Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
