I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Operation Purity has been aborted
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
