I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
