I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
vagina is talking i cant
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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