I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I forgot wine drunk hurts
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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