My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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