but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
