508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
