i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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