people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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