Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
