Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
