Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
