Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
