so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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