he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
