I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
