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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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