i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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