that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
