I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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