I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
