you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
