Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
