i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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