five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
