I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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