i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
