you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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