we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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