Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
