Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize