This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
