she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
