READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
