Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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