doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
