what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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