we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
