help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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