Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
