My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
