Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize